Man wants to settle down

The fool, he had fun...


...until the cliff.

Floater wants to settle:
I'm a guy who has mostly floated through life, doing whatever I work I felt like doing or was available to me at the time. Yet now I feel I should settle down and find a job that I like and that will help me find a woman I want to settle down with. I have no idea what to do. I'm easily bored, but know I don't want to be this way for the rest of my life. What should I do?
Dear man who wants to swim:

I sense you've gone over a few cliffs in your time, but I feel that you'd say they were all worth it. (And they were.) You've fallen in and out of love more times than... well, you know the saying. You've never fallen into a spot you can't get out of, yet now it's time for a new chapter.

It's more difficult for people like you who have made their own path. In your early years you were always told what to do: others always telling you what you should do, and what you should not do, and you left and you have no use for preachers anymore.

You say you want to settle down to find a job to find a woman. Most jobs, of course, are about making money, not about getting a woman. Have the woman you've been with been concerned because you have no money, or are they concerned because you are not settling down, and you think money will help you settle down?

You've made enough money in the past to do what you want. What you want for the future is to make enough money to make a woman feel secure about you.

You have been a Young Man for a lot longer than many others, so you could and did explore the Young Man energy. Now it's time for your Man energy. You could call it "Manergy."

On second thought, let's not call it that and let's forget that word completely.

You're in transition between older boy and man. Or young man and older man. Others your same chronological age have made the shift (and many, you've seen, not so successfully). You are unique in that your shift is on your terms, under your control, except for one little detail.

Something must be surrendered.

Just as an alcoholic must give up all drinking, a man who wants to settle down must give up some of his childish things.

I don't need to tell you which ones you must - that's all up to you and you're smart so you know. (You know you can't continue to do what you did, don't you?)

No, you will not find it at first. Why should it be quick for you, if being "not-a-man-yet" took longer than most?

What should you do? I can't tell you, because what you want is assurance and a guarantee and someone telling you what to do, which of course is a guaranteed assurance that you will not listen because you don't listen to anyone telling you what to do, do you?

I will suggest a glance at "What Color is Your Parachute" by Dick Bolles, a sprawling book that carves into the meat (or tofu, if you swing vegetarian) of who you are and how to find a job.

I will also suggest a simple exercise. Every night before you sleep, ask yourself what you imagine yourself doing in the future.

I don't know which one of my suggestions is the best one for you, yet I know you know the right one, since your authentic intuition is so powerful, and combined with the times your rational side kept you safe, you will make the transition.

And remember a woman does not always seek a rich man.

Job Hunter's Bible>>
The Fool Tarot card image is from the Rider-Waite tarot deck, designed by a man and drawn by a woman, Wikipedia>>

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