I have a problem with no solution that I can see. My wife and I first met when we were younger. I moved to this country and she followed me later. We were not married then. I wanted to marry her and she said she would marry me but there was a condition of no sex. I agreed. We got married and I am happy except she is beautiful and now I would like to have sex with her as my wife. How can I change her mind?Dear Dissatisfied:
I do not answer questions lightly. I do not tell you what you should do. And sometimes, it may be frustrating to some people when I do not seem to answer questions directly. Why don't I just answer the question? Because sometimes the direct route will not give you the answer you are looking for.
This answer is almost twice as long as the answers I usually give. That's because it took a week of dreaming before I could remember everything I heard.
This is what I saw in my vision for you. While sleeping, I saw two crocodiles on either side of you, giving you advice. I did not catch their names. As is the case with all crocodiles, they had constant grins on their faces, although I couldn't tell if they were smiling with satisfaction or hunger, so you kept a comfortable distance.
The first crocodile spoke: "Listen. You know there is always an answer to every question, yes?"
"Yes, I know," you said.
"It may not be the answer you want to hear, or it may be exactly the answer you are hoping for," said the second crocodile.
"Go on," you said.
"You have made a bond with your wife, and based it on a contract with her. She said what she is willing to give to you, and you said what you are willing to give to her," said the first.
"You are an active young man, full of promise and life," said the second.
"Yet you cannot sleep," said the first.
"I see your eyes are bloodshot with frustration," said the second.
"You are in despair, as if you are drowning," said one.
"And we know all about drowning," they both said at the same time.
"She is beautiful, and did you think you could resist her?" said the other.
Here, you remained silent for a while, and did not answer.
"No, I sense that underneath, inside you, what dominates inside you is your belief that she will see your love and she will change for you, that if only you do what is right, she will succumb to you and give you what you want," said one.
You paused for a bit and said: "She will not, will she?"
"Part of her is impenetrable to you. I sense personal reasons for her, deep soulful reasons, as if an evil spirit resides inside her," said the other.
"And yet, you know that you are not an exorcist for her," said one.
"Her demons are hers, aren't they?" said the other.
"Yes," you said.
Both the crocodiles said at once: "And yet, what if there are no demons inside of her?"
"You have made a bargain with her and you want to change the bargain and you want it to be the way you want it to be," said the other.
"Do you love her? Honestly love her?" said one.
"Yes," you said.
"You are a gentleman," said the other.
"You are not a Wild Animal like we are," said one.
"Yes. I am a Gentle Man," you said.
"How long are you willing to wait for her to change her mind for you? While you are waiting it will eat at you and you cannot change when your soul will be completely eaten, you understand?" said one.
You waited a long time in your dream, and then you shouted: "I want you to give me Crocodile Magic to change her!"
"And we could do that for you and give you Crocodile Magic, but at what price?" said one.
"At what price?" said the other.
"Especially a Crocodile Magic Spell that takes away her desires," said the other.
"Those are Zahmbie Spells," said one.
"You came to us, to ask us, so neither of you would become Zahmbies. Even as your wife, she is not yours to take," said the other.
"I will tell you what you may do. You may confess to her that you cannot keep your promise to her," said one.
"You have to make a choice between honoring your vows or honoring your desires, and that you must honor your desires and you cannot dampen your desires without suffering," said the other.
"And so you must end your marriage," said one.
"Or you may confess to her that you will dampen your desires as much as you can, and with that choice there will still be pain for both of you," said the other.
"And so you must stay in your marriage," said one.
"And so you must leave your marriage," said the other.
You said: "I don't understand. What should I do?"
"You know what to do," said one.
"When you wake from this dream and the light spills in, you will hear the sounds of splashing water from your childhood advising you on your future," said the other.
"You are a Gentle Man," said one.
"Now you must make another promise to her," said the other.
The other looked you directly in the eye and said:
"Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, I fell asleep and had a dream. A bold-patterned Egyptian bird sat on my back and picked food from between my sharp teeth. I did not get cavities and she was well-fed. We crossed a wide stretch of the Nile River during a drought, where even the fish were scarce. So I turned to her and in one snap I grabbed her with my mouth and before I ate her she said: 'Why,' she asked me. 'Why?'""He said: Because I am a crocodile, my friend, that's why, and we cannot change the nature of who we are," said the other.
And that's when you began to wake up from your dream.